ICYMI: Betsy DeVos is the Muggle Version of Professor Umbridge

In the Muggle World, We Have Betsy DeVos

When an unqualified usurper comes to power over school children, we can’t help but make the obvious connection: Betsy DeVos is the muggle version of Dolores Umbridge.  Here are a few instances it’s hard to tell the difference between the US Secretary of Education and corrupt headmaster Dolores Umbridge.

Her Preference for Pink

Umbridge’s signature look is trending in the White House. The only difference here, Umbridge knows where to find the pencils.

Receives Security Detail Because of Her Unpopular Ideas

DeVos receives heavy security detail from the US federal marshals for a bill totaling over $8 million dollars in 8 months. Betsy is the only cabinet member getting such high-security detail. A rare photo of her security guards has surfaced thanks to White House leaks:

When Impressing the Dark Lord Comes Above the Wellness of School Children

Dolores: Oh, children are being petrified and using the Unforgivable Curses? Voldemort doesn’t seem concerned.

Betsy: Oh, children are being sexually assaulted and not getting justice? Trump doesn’t seem concerned.

No Prior Experience in the Education Field

It’s not her extensive knowledge of pedagogy and curriculum building that landed DeVos the job. Just ask Umbridge, it’s all about powerful connections.

Dramatic Changes to the Previous Administration’s Class Rules

In recent news, DeVos is challenging Obama-era Title IX concerning how schools handle sexual misconduct. Next, she’ll start nailing the rules over the walls of the Senate.

Safety of Students Comes Last

Devos said, “Any school that refuses to take seriously a student who reports sexual misconduct is one that discriminates. And any school that uses a system biased toward finding a student responsible for sexual misconduct also commits discrimination.”

If there is any light at the end of the tunnel, it’s that Professor Umbridge got her due. Let’s hope DeVos goes down in similar flames:

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Here’s Why JK Rowling Should Finally Drop the JK from Her Name and Go by Joanne

What gives, JK Rowling?

In 1999 when Bloomsbury signed on the debut novel by unknown author Joanne Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, they asked her to abbreviate her name. J.K. now appearing more masculine, would appeal to a wider audience, that is, a male-driven audience. In other words, the publishers wanted the book to be “taken seriously.”

This is not the first, or possibly the last time in history a woman changed her name for the chance to compete with their male literary counterparts. Louisa May Alcott wrote under the pseudonym A.M. Barnard in her early years. George Eliot is, in fact, a woman named Mary Ann Evans. And we won’t forget the Bronte sisters writing under the male nom de plumes Acton, Currier, and Ellis Bell. Bold and unmarried, Charlotte feared her and her sisters’ works would be reviewed condescendingly if they were written by women.

So why is it, two centuries later, this fear still exists? Along the same lines, men are more likely to buy books written by men.

It’s been nearly two decades since the debut of Harry Potter and the wizarding world that took the muggle world by storm. And in 2017, it’s time to embrace that Joanne, not Bloomsbury’s J.K., is the real, powerfully female author.

Why Abbreviate?

Speaking of female authors, the last decade has shown a threatening rise of women writers on the bestseller list. From as recent as 1990, women only occupied a 28% hold on the New York Times Best Seller List. Males outnumbered females 3 to 1 as commercially successful authors. Today, that number is closer to 1 to 1 with 48% of the NYTBS featuring women writers.

When Joanne first appeared in the game, the statistics were not on her side. Male writers dominated the best sellers. And a clever way to disguise the author’s sex, Joanne’s publishers asked her to abbreviate her name. Abbreviations are ambiguous. Picking up a book with two letters and a last name, no one can guess what gender the author is. However, most assume male, because classically, it is a trend for male authors. Take C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and J.D. Salinger for example. J.D. could easily stand for Julia Diane Salinger. But it doesn’t, and we know it doesn’t. Why? Because it’s pristine, it’s formal, it’s—wait for it—masculine.

So, Bloomsbury made a serious decision to seriously disguise Joanne’s gender so that the readership would take the novel seriously.

Are you f*cking serious?

From the Mouth of Babes

Rowling does not shy away from progressive and forward thinking opinions. We’ll go as far as calling her a feminist. A string of fourteen tweets from the world’s favorite author goes as such:

Warning: Profanity


Say it again for the people in the back! “Femaleness is not a design flaw!” And what bigger of a statement is there than one of the most influential women in the literary and pop culture world to come out and say, my name is Joanne, not J.K.

That being said, Rowling published a series of mystery novels under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. The beauty of this name is that she chose it. Her reason being she wanted her work to not be shadowed by the fame of Harry Potter.

She wanted critics to give real feedback on her writing and not her as a person. The choosing of a male name in this instance is completely different from publishers strongly urging to abbreviate a clearly female name.

Ultimately, women want choice without stigma. We want to destroy the stigma that women have to disguise themselves as males to appeal to the masses in the literary world. But now, in 2017, with her influence touching many lives across the globe, what better way to show who run the world? Girls.