And Down Goes Michael Flynn

Better get the clinker ready. Maybe Flynn and Kushner can share a cell.


Top 10 Tweets About Trump’s Water Bottle Fiasco


On Wednesday, Donald Trump was in the middle of a press conference at the White House when he got a bit thirsty and grabbed for some water. But of course, because we’re dealing with a man-child, it became more of a spectacle – similar to what he dubbed a “catastrophe” when Marco Rubio reached for a drink during a speech last year. As it’s 2017, Twitter was its reliable self when it came to Trump’s water bottle skills.

And last but not least, Marco Rubio had some tips for his former opponent:

10 Times President Donald Trump Was 10 Out Of 10

A+ In the White House, F- Everywhere Else

The president’s self-proclaimed gold star shines once again. In recent news, Donald Trump rated himself a 10/10 effort for his response to Puerto Rico’s hurricane disaster. Trump’s ’10’ rating still leaves 78 percent of the island’s residents without electricity and only 72 percent have access to drinkable water. One can only imagine, if Trump gave a mere 9 effort by his standards, Puerto Rico wouldn’t even exist anymore. That being said, here’s a comprehensive list of the times Trump was truly 10 out of 10.

10. Diplomacy with North Korea

Because his predecessors couldn’t deal with Kim Jong Un or his dad for the last, uhm, 25 years, was it? Obviously, 10 out of 10 for the Don for taking out his nukes for measurement.

Donald Trump NK

 9. Repealing and replacing Obamacare

Republican efforts to repeal and replace Obamacare with the Graham-Cassidy bill died on the floor of the Senate this past month. According to Trump, the bill failed because one of the votes was in the hospital and there wasn’t enough time. Besides that, the bill surely would have passed.

8. Draining the Swamp

It appears Trump never put the stopper over the drain…down goes the swamp and everyone else, too. Sean Spicer, drained. Stephen Bannon, drained. Reince Priebus, drained. Michael Flynn, drained. Katie Walsh, drained. The Mooch, drained. And that’s just to name a few of Trump’s swamptastic staff to get sucked down the drain.

Donald Trump WWF

7. His Golf Stroke

Hole in one.

6. His Inauguration

By Donald Trump’s standard, his January 2017 inauguration was the most attended inauguration in the history of, like, ever. So packed even, that people had to fight for standing room.

Donald Trump Inauguration

5. His Handshake with Emmanuel Macron

10 out of 10 because it lasted longer than 10…seconds. And 20.

4. Twitter reaction time to NFL protesters

Reaction time on fleek, President Trump never misses a rating, or a chance to scold grown men for protesting their rights.

3. Helping the LGBTQ community

Since his promise to fight for the LGBTQ community, Donald Trump has out-shone his efforts. Just take banning transgenders from the military: why fight when you could just be fabulous, he says.

Donald Trump LGBT

2. Signing Bills

In the first 100 days, Spicer claimed Trump had signed more bills than any of his predecessors. Roosevelt signed 76, but that’s beside the point. Though Trump has signed a good number, none of the 28 bills were major pieces of legislation, meaning they’re essentially worthless to the American public.

1. Dealing with Climate Change

Trump’s 10 out of 10 response to climate change simply means ignoring it exists. Can’t get a bad rating if it’s not real, amirite? Stephen Hawking said Trump’s decision to pull out of the Paris Agreement “could push Earth over the brink.” Psshhh, what does the smartest man on the planet know?


Ex-CIA Agent Starts $1 Billion Crowdfunding Campaign to Ban Trump from Twitter

[sg_popup id=”1″ event=”onload”][/sg_popup]Former undercover CIA Agent Valerie Plame Wilson has launched a $1bn GoFundMe crowdfunding campaign to buy a significant stake in Twitter (NYSE: TWTR) as an effort to delete Donald Trump’s twitter account. Wilson, who was ousted by the Bush administration as retaliation against her diplomat husband Joe Wilson’s public criticisms of the Iraq invasion, has stated that Trump’s tweets “damage the country and put people in harm’s way.”

According to the campaign page, Wilson hopes to raise enough funds to buy a controlling interest in the publicly traded company; however, even if she does reach the $1bn goal, it would take roughly $6bn to close out a majority stake.

Still, a $1bn stake would make Wilson Twitter’s largest shareholder, giving her a front seat position with which to exert major decisions and influence in the company’s overall direction.

The campaign launched last week with Wilson tweeting: “If @Twitter executives won’t shut down Trump’s violence and hate, then it’s up to us. #BuyTwitter #BanTrump.”

As of early Saturday morning, the GoFundMe account had already pulled in donations exceeding $70,000. Though a far cry from the requested $1bn, it speaks volumes to the complete exhaustion felt by American’s in regards to the President’s childish behavior.

On Thursday, the President went on another early morning Twitter rant, criticising congressional GOP leaders and retweeting a meme of himself eclipsing former President Barack Obama.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders had this to say: “Her ridiculous attempt to shut down his first amendment is the only clear violation and expression of hate and intolerance in this equation.”

Sanders also went on to point out that most American’s appreciate the President’s use of Twitter and the “transparency” that comes with it, although we’re not entirely sure where she’s getting her polling results from.

Twitter declined to comment on both the President’s tweets and Wilson’s fundraising efforts.