Here’s How Two Women Actually Have Sex

Do lesbians confuse you? Do you find yourself lying awake in bed at night, wondering how a woman could make love to another woman? Does the mere notion of a romantic relationship without the presence of a man stress you out and make you upset? Or, maybe you’re a woman who is about to have her first dalliance with another woman.

Either way, you’ve clicked on this with a mission. And so, without further ado, here’s how two women actually have sex.

The short answer

Two women can do it any way they damn please.

The longer answer

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Women aren’t limited to vaginal intercourse with a penis. People express themselves sexually in a vast number of ways, no matter how they self-identify in terms of gender and/or sexual orientation. All forms are valid. Therefore, there are a lot of different ways that two women can get it on.

For a lot of women, oral is a cornerstone of a sexual encounter. For other women, oral is nice, but not necessary to have a good time. Some women like penetration, either from her partner’s fingers, from a toy, or a combination of the two. Other women might not like penetration at all. And some prefer to masturbate with their partner (in other words: mutual masturbation).

So, about those strap-ons…

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While some women may prefer to only engage with each other’s bodies, many women, however, like to incorporate toys. A lot of heterosexual couples do as well, for that matter.

If you’ve ever watched girl-on-girl porn, you’ve undoubtedly seen a video featuring two women using a strap-on dildo. While porn is unrealistic–especially in the way that they portray lesbian women–strap-ons are often a popular choice among queer women.

And no, most of the time it has nothing to do with one partner taking on a traditionally masculine gender role. Believe it or not, lesbian sex has absolutely nothing to do with men.


Take this into consideration. A recent survey published in Slate claimed the following results: 86% of lesbians always or usually have an orgasm during love making, while only 65% of straight women could say the same.

While this finding is fascinating to dissect and analyze, we need to make something clear: An orgasm is not necessarily the benchmark.

Some women find it hard to achieve orgasm with a partner, and some women struggle to orgasm period. This doesn’t mean it can’t be enjoyable. After all, sex without an orgasm is still sex.


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Ultimately, making love is about connecting with another person. This connection can be purely physical, but it can also be an intensely emotional or spiritual experience as well. Sometimes, people can’t have sex without forming an emotional connection first, and others might completely separate it from emotional intimacy. Both are completely fine, as long as everyone involved is totally on board.


Having a good time isn’t about having the most “sexperience,” or using the most high-tech toys, or even being the most skilled. Ultimately, it is dependent on communication. Listen to your partner! Pay attention to their non-verbal cues. Talk about each others’ needs and desires both in and out of the bedroom.

The Bottom Line

Sex between two women isn’t a mysterious thing that only a select few can understand. Lesbian sex is just that: sex. Between two people. And it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out.

Now, please, on behalf of all your Sapphic friends: stop asking us about it.