WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the President’s order to uncover the JFK Assassination files, Trump is now demanding the investigation of three more conspiracy theories. Namely, Area 51, the Pyramids of Giza, and Ganghis Kahn’s ability to sleep with thousands of women and father hundreds offspring.
A memo from the Oval Office leaked this morning.
Another unnamed source reveals that the White House has created teams to investigate each conspiracy theory.
“He’s recruited the top minds and scientists from Russia, and the most knowledgeable conspiracy theorists from the Midwest,” the WH source said. “Comey will not be invited.”
Each file being compiled for the mysterious cases are titled “Trump’d,” a term coined by the Commander in Chief himself.
“I can solve every mystery. I’m smart. I went to an Ivy League School. I’ve read books. Once a mystery is solved, I’ll say it’s been Trump’d!”