Satire

Trump Offers Italian Prime Minister Ketchup for Pasta at WH Dinner

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to unnamed sources, Donald J. Trump, the 45th President of the United States, reportedly offered a large bottle of Heinz ketchup to Italian Prime Minister Paolo Gentiloni during the pasta entree at a dinner hosted by the White House.

PM Gentiloni mistook the gesture as a joke and told the President of the United States he was a funny man. However, Mr. Trump reportedly emptied the bottled of ketchup onto his own penne a la vodka and said “more for me” to the Italian Prime Minister. The President of the United States then told PM Gentiloni that he often enjoyed a steaming bowl of ketchup spaghetti with American butter, a “10/10 meal” in his book.

Mr. Trump is publicly known to have his steaks well-done and doused with ketchup. Not surprisingly, he appears to have the same fondness for that red sauce on other things. A WH kitchen worker, who has requested anonymity, reveals that since Mr. Trump took office, ketchup consumption at the White House has skyrocketed. In fact, a side of ketchup is served with every meal and snack brought to the President. Additional bottles of ketchup are placed in a special cabinet in the Oval Office. One senior staffer reportedly witnessed Mr. Trump dipping a bagel into a bowl of ketchup while wandering the West Wing in his bathrobe.

Vice President Mike Pence and his wife, Mrs. Karen Pence were also present. VP Pence appeared to be silently praying during the pasta ordeal, while Mrs. Pence looked on.

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