7 Fictional Alter Egos for Jared Kushner

Jared Kushner is seen more than heard–a silent, emaciated figure next to the Trump. He is a true international man of mystery. So naturally, our imagination has run wild with speculation at what the real Jared is like.

7. Young Draco Malfoy

Like Draco, Jared Kushner thrives on fatherly approval.

6. Gordon Gecko

#JKush loves the green too.

5. Ramsey Bolton

Bolton is Kushner’s spirit animal. Don’t deny it.

See also: Patrick Bateman.

4. Sheldon Parson

The voice. The mannerisms.

3. Richie Rich

Of course, Kush would never touch cash.

2. Ralph Wiggum

JKush is all about that tech life.

1. Patrick Bateman

Kushner is Patrick Bateman.

See also: Ramsey Bolton.